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I left Ahmadiyyat because Mirza Ghulam Ahmad was a liar and a charlatan. Find out why I believe this to be true.

Friday, June 17, 2005

JFK

"Ask not what khilafat can do for you. Ask what you can do for khilafat!" So said JFK (Jama'at's Final Khalifa) at a hastily arranged emergency MTA show earlier today.

Ahmadiyya's top brass had been fighting apathy, inertia, lack of focus and a worrying exodus of its brightest minds to atheism, or worse still, Islam, for some years. They had convened this special broadcast to establish a new scheme. The Mirza Mascroo Yousuf Aarup Yarassital Bleed Scheme was launched with its own attached chanda fund, code and bank account in a thrilling blaze of, well, ok, in a boring announcement without any glitz or glamour or fun whatsoever.

In a membership that is fast dwindling, it is truly an ingenious idea. For every Ahmadi child conceived that is pledged to Wassiyat Ultra Plus (the new variant of Wassiyat that gets you Platinum privilege - a year's supply of homeopathic medicine, 4 mulakaats a year and an interest-free loan for a flat near the bait-ul-fazool, but where you pay 50% of everything you earn after tax to jama'at) - you get last year's chanda payments back and JFK's mobile number to call once a month on your allotted day. Obviously, if the scheme is successful, you'll probably get his voicemail.

Most Ahmadis are too brainwashed to realise that they didn't pay much chanda last year anyway, but it will still represent an outstanding opportunity for the younger ones who still have some zeal in them.

Insiders see it as a scheme that will save the community from imminent meltdown, but doubters see it as yet another last gasp attempt to salvage something, anything, financially, for the Mirza Family from the wreckage that is The Cult of Ahmadiyya.

4 Comments:

  • At 1:12 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    damn.. i didnt know so much crap could come from one lone single person....
    it doesnt look like you have forgotten the jamaat...
    dont worry you will be forgiven on your return... but people generaly thrown out cant come back? what did you do?

     
  • At 8:17 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Wow a Qadiani reads this blog judging by the last comment.

    How sad that he/she is so proud to point out that no forgiveness is possible if one has been thrown out.

    Ha ha ha what comedy the ultimate forgiveness has been obtained by being thrown out, for surely one becoming a Muslim and leaving a Cult is more pleasing to the Creator inshallah.

    By becoming a Muslim all previous sins are forgiven and true success in the hereafter can be gained.

    Sorry the same can not be said for members of this Cult.

    As for what the brother did as you ask then this is simple.

    He became a Muslim and saved his soul from the hell fire.

    And I suggest you do the same.

     
  • At 1:50 pm, Blogger Shahid said…

    To the first commenter (my salaam to the second) - Thank you for taking the time to read this blog.

    I left jama'at Ahmadiyya last year. I was not thrown out. I left very publicly. I did it publicly precisely because a defence mechanism of your community to which I will never return is to say that those who left were actually kicked out. Tragic thinking, but it's not accurate thinking.

    Why haven't you shown your name? What are you afraid of?

     
  • At 1:54 pm, Blogger Tahir Iqbal said…

    Hello Shahid Bhai. Please don't mind but can I ask you that were you an Ahmedi before? Have you now again become a Muslim? I'm asking this because I'm a big fan of your SuspectPaki blog and I didn't know that you're a Qadiyani. I hope you won't mind my asking these questions.

    Tahir

     

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