Cough Remedy

I left Ahmadiyyat because Mirza Ghulam Ahmad was a liar and a charlatan. Find out why I believe this to be true.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Dear Mirza Masroor Sahib

Dear Mirza Masroor Sahib,


I'm really getting tired of constant, patient debating, with no real answers, just the incessant twisting and turning, ducking and diving, running and hiding. I've tried to ask your followers questions in the wonderful forum, but when confronted with the real issues, they run away! Why?

Just answer the questions head-on!! Please! The real questions! The real issues! But no - with you and some of your well-meaning, but haplessly misguided followers, it's always a case of picking up the little bones like the esoteric ilham about some August date in 1908 - I mean who cares? What about the real stuff?

  1. Why did MGA back the Boer War? No prophet would have backed the death of tens of thousands of children in concentration camps. Just answer this please. None of the others really matter, but this is a biggie.

  2. MGA had a "revelation" that he'd die in Mecca or Medina. He died in Lahore. And you insult me by trying to tell me that Lahore means Mecca or Medina. Come on! Enough of this nonsense!

  3. MGA had a "revelation" that he'd marry a widow. "Note it". I did. "Wait for it". I did. It still hasn't happened. Oh - and there's no such thing as a heavenly nikkah. Remember the stuff about "prophecies" and "touchstones" and "liars" and "impostors"?? Note it. Wait for it...

  4. You've ordered your followers to disengage from the Internet. (Apologies to those Lahoris who have split their sect into another sect who don't follow the "khalifa"). Yet they persist in engagement, even though you are "appointed by Allah" and are his "vicegerent on earth". And when you are asked about it, you don't answer. Is it that difficult?

  5. MGA had a revelation that Allah SWT "praises him" (MGA). What? Come on. You have tried to defend this. And I'm afraid you've fallen short. By about half a dozen parsecs. Allah SWT alone is worthy of praise!

  6. MGA prescribed tonic wine for illness, and for all I know, took it himself. RasulAllah SAW said "it is not a medicine, it is a sickness". "Second advent"? Of whom exactly?

  7. MGA plagiarised his theory of Isa's (AS) death to faciliate his own incremental claims to Messiahship and eventually, full-blown-second-advent-of-Muhammad (SAW)-hood. Or did he even go on to claim godhead? Oh yeah, he did. Do you believe any of this?

  8. Allah SWT warned us not to split our religion into sects. What is Ahmadiyyat? And Haqiqat Pasand? And Janfah? And Lahoris? And so on and on and on? You're having a laugh, right?

  9. Allah perfected our deen in the lifetime of RasulAllah SAW. Do we really need a self-appointed-prophet after the seal is closed to tell us about The Book that we already know about?

  10. Tell us about the eclipses. Again. Go on. Just for fun. Let's clear this up, it really is quite simple! The hadith is weak. The weak hadith isn't even attributed to RasulAllah SAW. That weak hadith talked of an event that hasn't happened since the beginning of time. Double eclipses have been happening in Ramadan every 22 years since the beginning of our planetary system. There have been claimants in that time. So go on, tell me about this pathetic scam again? Please?

  11. MGA called everyone who didn't follow him "kaafir". You want to be called Muslim, yet reserve the right to call everyone else non-Muslim. Erm, please explain this to me, so that I can understand. And try and do a better job than Mirza Nasir Sahib did in 1974. Please?

  12. Remind us, who won the debate in 1974?

  13. Explain to me how Bahishti Maqbara is anything other than a higher rate tax bracket in jama'at that fraudulently offers heaven without Allah SWT's intervention?

While you're at it, please tell me about chanda. And why it's given more importance than zakah? And tell me about jalsa, and why it's given more importance than hajj? And tell me why your office bearers talk about chanda more than they do about salah, the only fundamentally important aspect of Islam? And while you're evading all the important questions by taking potshots at RasulAllah SAW or the Holy Qur'an, please explain why trying to discuss things with you is like trying to nail jelly to a wall.




  • At 10:18 am, Anonymous Straitforward said…

    A possible reply from an honest Mirza Masroor

    Dear Shahid,

    Though I have been made Khalifa-V of Ahmadiyya, I must confess that I’m unable to answer many of your valid questions. The main reasons behind my inability to answer your question are 1.) I’m not a qualified religious scholar as I’m basically a farmer who somehow managed to get a master’s degree in agricultural economics 2.) I myself do not have much knowledge about the writings and beliefs of my great grandfather, Mirza Ghulam Qadiani.

    Nevertheless, with my limited knowledge about my great grandfather, Mirza Ghulam Qadiani, and Ahmadiyya I will still try to answer your questions.

    1. Boer War: My great grandfather was an extremely loyal servant of British Imperialism. Therefore, it is also incumbent upon Ahmadiyya and Khalifahs to unconditionally remain humble servants of the British government and western powers. Mirza sahib backed the Boer War because he was the most humble servant of the British Government. Adhering to his legacy, we also continue to display our loyalty to the British government and the Queen. A recent example is our condolence message sent to the Queen when her dog and our beloved brother, Corgi, died.

    2. Death in Makkah or Madinah: It is true that Mirza sahib died in Lahore in a distasteful state due to cholera. We have kept his remains in a box in order to try and fulfill his prophecy at a later stage if the situation permits.

    3. Marriage with a widow: This is also true that our great grandfather couldn’t get married to either a widow or his dream-girl, Muhammadi Begum. But I guess this failure was adequately compensated by my maternal grandfather and Khalifah-2, Mirza Mahmood, who married several women in order to pacify the soul of Mirza Ghulam Qadiani.

    4. Debates with Non-Ahmadis: Throughout my career, I have been mainly engaged in activities that do not require any real brain work. I have already told you my background as a farmer. I have also worked as a farm caretaker in Ghana in 1983 for 2 years. I also headed a committee responsible for the plantation in Rabwah. With this background, how can you expect me to encourage my people to engage in discussions on the Internet. I would rather order them to stop using their brains and just keep paying regular Chanda. My only goal is to raise money – quickly and even fraudulently if need be. Although you have now left Ahmadiyyat, I would still inquire if you had paid all your dues before leaving the Jamaat.

    5. “Hamd” issue, Isa death theory, schism in Islam, perfection of Islam, the 2 eclipses and Fatwa-e-Kufr issues: I can not answer your question no. 5 - 11 as my religious knowledge is very limited. I will ask some of my learned Murabbies, who often write my Khutbas, to answer your questions. I would prefer to have an artificial cough on the subject, which I normally do in my Khutbas, whenever I’m in trouble while reading the script.

    6. Parliament debate in 1974 : My uncle, Mirza Nasir, failed to present Ahmadiyya case effectively and forcefully before the Parliament of Pakistan in 1974. Mirza Nasir was actually a thick person who could not eloquently express himself and thus Ahmadiyya lost this great opportunity. Ahmadiyya still claim that if the proceedings had been made public, half of Pakistan would have become Ahmadi. But I honestly think that the outcome would have been totally reverse. I fear that half of Ahmadis would have denounced Ahmadiyyat had the proceedings been made public. I am thus very happy that the Government of Pakistan kept it away from the public eyes.

    7. Bahishti Maqbara: This is my lifeline. I will continue to sell graves to Ahmadis till the last drop of blood in their veins. My grandfather, Mirza Mahmood, declared it openly in ‘Nizame-Nau’ that the purpose of Wasiyyat Scheme is to deprive Ahmadis of their assets and belongings. I can succeed in this robbery only if I play the trump card of spirituality. That trump card is ticket to the paradise. My whole Khandan-e-Nabuwwat thrives on selling graveyards on the pretext of reserving a seat in the paradise. I have recently made several amendments in the original divine conditions of Bahishti Maqbara scheme as listed by Mirza Ghulam Qadiani under divine guidance. Now, the only criteria of Wasiyyat is to be able to pay money. It does not matter any longer if you are a pious person or not. The prostitutes are also welcome as Mirza Ghulam Qadiani himself accepted donations from them. I am also thinking of extending this Bahishti Maqbara “facility” to all people regardless of their religion. I hope to raise more money by relaxing the divine conditions. Shahid, although you have left Ahmadiyyat, I am still willing to allow you as an “Alumni” for subscribing to Bahishti Maqbara. It’s a great concession and a gesture of my goodwill. I am willing to offer you a very good location in the corner and the area would also be 25% more than the ordinary graves. So, what do you think about it?

    Alternatively, I can offer you to act as my commission agent for the Bahishti Maqbara scheme. If you can sell 10 graves to your friends then yours will be free. And if you get me 20 then I can offer you another 10% of the total revenue that you would generate by selling these graves. Please come back to me ASAP.

  • At 5:18 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…


  • At 4:56 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Laanat_ul_Allah Alal Kazibeen

  • At 4:15 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    u really have no this whst islam teaches u? honestly.....ahmadiyyat is the true religion. disrespecting someone like this doesn't make you go to heaven...rather the opposite shall happen. if you cant say something nice........DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALLL!!!!


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