Mirza Masroor Annoucement!
(Jan 30, 2005 Advertisement, Mamooli Ishtiharat vol.1, p.1)
That's right folks. The Iraqis must be overthrown and subdued. Since they didn't pledge allegiance to Ahmadiyya and God's Khalifa, they aren't really Muslims. So it's right that we should utterly raze their country to the ground. As long as there are so few Ahmadis there, and it is difficult for us to be accepted there (because of that thorny issue of them knowing Arabic and thus understanding that old "Khatamanabiyeen" chestnut that we use on the unsuspecting) - it's an accursed land. It is one of the prophecies of the Promised Messiah, my great-grandfather, that, erm, the sun will rise somewhere, someday, and it has done, millions of times, and that's milions of miracles now, and..er...anyway...
Don't send money to your central Mosque, send it to me directly, make it payable to me, and I'll see that a part of it gets to the government. The rest I shall keep for "administration" purposes. Since jama'at doesn't file its returns until years after they're due anyway, it shouldn't be a problem for this money to "disappear" by then anyway. And what I mean by that of course, is that it will go to some mosque project that will get forgotten about, or perhaps to an auxiliary section of MTA. Or something. We'll work it out.
And if the office-bearers, the ones who hold their positions for a lifetime, should berate you, humiliate you, rob you, rape you, all of the above or worse, I still want you to smile as you hand over the cash that Islam actually doesn't ask you for. I know God says in the Qur'an that you should spend in the way of Allah, but since He has appointed me as his vicegerent, you can spend in the way of me and take it up with Allah in the next life.