Sunday, June 01, 2008
Monday, January 21, 2008
The End of Ahmadiyya?
It certainly looks like the end of the road for the Ahmadiyya.
In Indonesia, as in the rest of the Muslim world, the Ahmadiyya are not just considered a heretical sect by Muslims, but a treacherous one. By regularly denouncing Muslims as terrorists (but never overtly of course) they align themselves with those who despise Islam. By claiming victimhood despite claiming ownership to "The True Islam" and thereby expelling all Muslims from Islam in so doing, they come across smelling a bit hypocritical.
They love censorship. Not only did they try and take my YouTube work down, ultimately unsuccessfully of course, but they also failed to respond when I tried to elicit a reason. Mostly of course, they censor Mirza Ghulam Ahmad's work. Not surprising really, as this man, who claimed to be more than just any old prophet, was fond of obscene epithets to describe his opponents when they repeatedly pointed out his fallacies and absurdities. They censor his work by failing to provide English translations of his more obscene outbursts.
The interesting thing is how most of the devotees suffer from cognitive dissonance. I should know. I was once one of them. Lying to yourself is the only way you can cope with the mental meltdown that results from trying to understand the ramblings and chicanery of a seriously doped-up charlatan.
Ahmadis deal with their cognitive dissonance with a standard bunch of retorts. Including:
- "Your references are wrong". (No they're not. I checked them out. Sometimes the Qadianis shift the page numbers in Mirza's books - erm - that's cheating!)
- "You're quoting out of context" (On the odd occasion, yes, but most of his nasty output is nasty despite heavy contextualisation)
- "That's not an authentic book" (Which is why I used only Ahmadi books in my YouTube videos, either bought from them, or downloaded, live, on video, from their web site)
- "The same accusations were made against Muhammad (pbuh)" (Actually, they weren't. Nobody accused the Last Prophet (saw) of using foul language against anyone, or of taking drugs, ever - and more to the point - any accusations made were rejected in the Qur'an)
- "He's not really claiming prophethood" (Err, read his books. Especially "The Removal of a Misunderstanding" and "Lecture Sialkot")
I enjoyed exposing some of Mirza's more blasphemous, but less abusive work last year on YouTube. It provoked a huge amount of interest and a backlash not just against me, but from the ordinary, innocent Ahmadi who has been kept in the dark, against the Qadiani leadership, who have no answers. Intellectually risible and shamefully vacuous, they are being exposed as nothing more than a cheap cult, existing only to extort money from their members and to serve their imperial masters.
I have learned that they send tins with the face of the latest Mirza on to children, poor or not, to fill the cult's coffers. Charging a membership of 6.25% of all salaries after tax, and calling those who don't subscribe to the "Get me into heaven" scheme at a minimum of 10% earnings and property "hypocrites", the leadership deserves exposure to the truth, and ridicule and brickbats from those with understanding.
Now it appears that the foundations of the movement have been smashed as the Indonesian Ahmadiyya has publicly declared that Mirza Ghulam Ahmad was not a prophet after all, but just a teacher. This is interesting in the light of Mr. Mirza's repeated proclamations of prophethood and the Ahmadiyya's insistence that those who aren't Ahmadis are in fact kaafirs (infidels/deniers) and outside the pale of Islam.
What kind of a religion categorically denies its own prophet in order to keep going as a headless chicken? Why, the completely nonsensical and utterly pointless Ahmadiyya of course. It has shot itself in the foot. It has lost the wind in its sails. It is lost at sea and listing.
This news will send shockwaves through the core of the movement and no doubt, there will be attempts to explain it away in the time-dishonoured fashion of Mirza, who routinely claimed victory despite being the victim of TKO after TKO against the most average maulvi of the time.
With this massive own goal (switching sports here) it looks like this is the beginning of the end of the Ahmadiyya. One can only hope that they will abandon the teachings of the deluded, opium-eating charlatan Mirza and rejoin the mainstream.
And as long as they reject Mirza completely, seeing as his beliefs are impossible to reconcile with mainstream Islam, they will of course, be welcome with open arms. Come back to the fold of Islam Ahmadis, we have a lot of work to do together. Insha'Allah.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
What I have been up to
Mr. Mirza's Revelations
Mr Mirza's Hindlish
We Can What We Will Do
Who is the Messenger?
Mirza Saw God Personified
Words of Satan
The ghulam-Ahmadis had my videos taken down under a DMCA notice. I defended myself and they withdrew. Alhamdulillah, my videos were reinstated under the protection of the law.
Labels: YouTube videos
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Mirza the Atheist
Yes, Mirza Sahib wrote some good things too, let's not deny that. The point to bear in mind is that when you judge him on his prophecies (and he asked for that), you will find a man plagued by fear and hatred. Fear of poverty, fear of not being accepted. Hatred of those who denied him, who wouldn't accept him. These are natural qualities. These qualities made him an ordinary man, but he lacked the dignity and grace becoming of a great man.
If he thought Muhammadi Begum would come to him, he had only to shut up and let God take care of the rest. Instead of accepting, he tried to justify failure and re-frame it. A prophet doesn't need to do that. Prophets have never done that. He should have just smiled and said "wait and see" nicely. Instead he preached death and calamity and plague and earthquakes and suffering. He was in turmoil. The reality in his mind was incongruent with the events of his life.
These trivial fears and ignoble insecurities are not the qualities of a great man, never mind a prophet. A prophet of God should have an air of acceptance. This man appeared not to believe in God. Sounds radical, right? But hear me out...
If he believed, he wouldn't have to back up the failure of every prophecy with a caveat. He would just smile, wink, and say "My God knows best" and leave it at that. It's not for a mere man to work out what prophecies are working and which are not. He was just projecting his insecurity and hatred and this is not the sign of a man of God.
All of the things we usually hear about Mirza are about secondary weaknesses that arise from a lack of internal congruence and from an almost compelte dissonance with God.
If he was secure in his belief, he would be much more inclusive, all-embracing, a lover of humanity on a constant basis, a shining example serving as an inspiration to humanity for centuries to come. Yet this didn't happen, and ghulam-Ahmadis still believe in him, despite the complete lack of attributable sayings of any lasting merit whatsoever.
He was an ordinary man, plagued by fear of poverty (a quite natural human trait, but not the trait of a prophet) and fear of not being accepted (a quite natural human trait, but not the trait of a prophet). He should not have despaired of the mercy of God on such a daily basis. He tried to put words into God's mouth. If God had put words into his mouth, they would have been congruent, requiring no extended explanation.
Isa (as) is reported to have said "Love they neighbour as thyself". What a beautiful tenet - and there is not a single thing that Mirza Sahib said that could match this. He was so insecure, that he believed that his personal god (oh-no-associate) would spread Mirza Sahib's message to the corners of the earth.
Allah's message had already spread to the ends of the earth, so this was a doubly stupid thing to say. And now, Manchester United and Liverpool and Barcelona and Real Madrid and David Beckham and Michael Owen are more famous than the Ahmadiyya Movement, but none of these people or organisations are considered miraculous.
People will continue to believe in what they want to believe because they have built their lives around it. What they fail to recognise is that Truth is independent of what they believe and does not require them to believe in it for it to be True! They are adrift in a sea of duplicity and contrived interpretations, which are unbecoming of God or His religion of Islam, of which Ahmadiyya is just a faint and corrupted echo, ignored by the wider world.
May Allah (swt) inspire those people with minds to think and eyes to see to abandon the insecurity of Mirza Sahib and grasp the firm rope that Allah (swt) told us to grasp all those centuries ago through the revelations vouchsafed to the Final Prophet sent to manking - Muhammad Sallalaho-Alayhi-wa-Salam.
"God named me Mary in the third volume of Braheen-e-Ahmadiyya. I was nurtured for two years as Mary and was raised in a womanly seclusion. Then, the spirit of Jesus was breathed into me just as was done with Mary. Hence, I was considered to be pregnant in a metaphorical manner. After a period of several months, not exceeding ten, I was made Jesus out of Mary by the revelation embodied in the last part of the fourth volume of Braheen-e-Ahmadiyya; and thus, I became Jesus, son of Mary. But, God did not inform me of this secret at that time."
(Kashti-i-Nuh, Roohany Khazaen, Vol. 19, P. 50; Kashti-i-Nuh, P. 46-47)
If Mr. Mirza was Mary, does that mean Mr. Mirza was also the reincarnation of her?
More importantly, when he/she/whatever the hell gave metaphorical birth to Jesus, was Jesus already a fully-formed man emerging from the metaphorical womb?
And finally, what happened to the metaphorical Mary after the metaphorical grown Jesus was born - did she die during metaphorical childbirth? Or did she live on as Mirzayam and Jesus 2.0 combined - a metaphorical conjoined mother/son hybrid, placenta permanently in place!!
Having been Muslim (AlHamdolilah!) for over two years now, what I find especially offensive is his claim that God wrote the text of Mirza's book! Is Mirza confusing himself with God? After all, he says "God named me Mary in the third volume of Braheen-e-Ahmadiyya". And almost as offensively, this was the series of books where 50 volumes were promised and he delivered only 5, 23 years later, having taken advances many years previously. His excuse? "There is only a dot difference between 5 and 50 therefore the promise is fulfilled"
Don't ghulam-Ahmadis ever stop and think about the garbage this man came out with?
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Reason to Leave...
I would like to present another example of Mirza's peerless stupidity, but first, let me start with something beautiful - we shall proceed from the sublime to the ridiculous if you like! So first - a beautiful safeguard from Allah (swt) against the likes of Mirza and other impostors, from Surat al-Ibrahim, ayat 4:
We sent not a messenger except (to teach) in the language of his (own) people, in order to make (things) clear to them. Now Allah leaves straying those whom He pleases and guides whom He pleases: and He is Exalted in power, full of Wisdom.
Understand this very clearly. Your soul is at stake. Let's pretend Mirza might have been a prophet (naudhubillah)
What was the language of Mirza's people and to which nation was Mirza sent?
Well, Mirza was sent to what, Punjab or Hindustan? (Zero marks to those who say he was sent to the world - as the world was not the nation he was sent to - clearly!)
- If Punjab, his revelation should have been in Punjabi
- If Hindustan, his revelation should have been in Hindi
Mirza actually claimed revelations in the following languages:
Mirza himself said:
It is surprising that many of my inspirations occur in languages that I have no knowledge of such as English, Sanskrit, Hebrew etc.
He is immediately ruled out as a prophet. Not just by God. But by Mirza ghulam Ahmad himself as he wrote in Ruhani Khazain:
It is quite absurd and illogical for a person to have a language and for his inspirations to occur in a different language, because this will be a cause of inconvenience for him. What is the point of such inspirations which are beyond human comprehension?
Mirza Ghulam Ahmad: You have been found guilty, guilty, guilty through self-incrimination. You are sentenced to an eternity of ridicule and pity.
Thank God for the Internet - I would never have learned how big a liar Mirza Ghulam Ahmad was otherwise.
How can any sane person say that this is the thinking of a Muslim? Muslims understand the Unity, the Majesty and the utter Incomparability of Allah (swt).
However, Mirza claimed the following as a revelation, to this day, such garbage makes me shudder and I thank God that when faced with such nonsense, I had no choice but to leave falsehood:
O Moon, O Sun, you are from Me and I am from you. We give you good news of a boy who will be an addition for you, an addition from Myself.
(Al Hakam Vol. X, No. 1, Jan. 10, 1905, p.1)
Now the question for Ahmadis is - when you see such nonsense, do you not feel a twinge of conscience that God gave you as a gift? Can you not be your own personal conscience arbiter?
Did God not give you eyes to see?
Allow me to quote a hadith from Bukhari on the nature of revelation:
Volume 1, Book 1, Number 4:
Narrated Said bin Jubair:
Ibn 'Abbas in the explanation of the Statement of Allah. 'Move not your tongue concerning (the Quran) to make haste therewith." (75.16) Said "Allah's Apostle used to bear the revelation with great trouble and used to move his lips (quickly) with the Inspiration." Ibn 'Abbas moved his lips saying, "I am moving my lips in front of you as Allah's Apostle used to move his." Said moved his lips saying: "I am moving my lips, as I saw Ibn 'Abbas moving his." Ibn 'Abbas added, "So Allah revealed 'Move not your tongue concerning (the Qur'an) to make haste therewith. It is for us to collect it and to give you (O Muhammad) the ability to recite it (the Qur'an) (75.16-17) which means that Allah will make him (the Prophet ) remember the portion of the Qur'an which was revealed at that time by heart and recite it. The Statement of Allah: And 'When we have recited it to you (O Muhammad through Gabriel) then you follow its (Qur'an) recital' (75.18) means 'listen to it and be silent.' Then it is for Us (Allah) to make It clear to you' (75.19) means 'Then it is (for Allah) to make you recite it (and its meaning will be clear by itself through your tongue). Afterwards, Allah's Apostle used to listen to Gabriel whenever he came and after his departure he used to recite it as Gabriel had recited it."
Revelation was not easy, and the Prophet (saw) used to be under strain and even on a cold day, he would be drenched in perspiration when the force of revelation came to him. And God promised to safeguard it and explain it.
Rasulullah (saw) would be concerned that he might not grasp it all, but Allah (swt) assured him that it was His responsibility to safeguard it. The Qur'an would not be forgotten.
Compare such dazzling beauty to the following claimed by Mirza, who also claimed to be the exact mirror of the greatest man to walk the earth (naudhobillah):
I received a revelation today of which I do not remember all the words, but what I do remember is clear and certain. I do not know whom it might relate to, but it portends great danger. The words I remember were: His breath stopped in a moment.
He didn't remember the words???
He doesn't know what it was about?
Was this revelation or just a song he heard some old man singing whilst riding a tanga?
Ahmadis, the man you venerate as a prophet was a complete fraud and a laughing stock. No person in their right mind could revere such a shameless charlatan.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Mirza's Christmas Gift to Jesus
I swear by Him in Whose hand is my life, that my God has honoured me with certain and absolute converse, and this is a daily occurrence. I find that the God Who was adjured by Jesus the Messiah (as) in the words: "Why has Thou forsaken me?" has not forsaken me. Like the Messiah (as), I too have been atacked many times, but my enemies have always been frustrated. A conspiracy was hatched to have me hanged by my God delivered me at the time of ever trial, and I was not put on the cross like the Mesiah(as). He has shown many great miracles in my support and has exhibited His mighty power to the same purpose. Through thousands of signs, He has proved to me that He is the same God Who revealed the Qur'an and sent the Holy Prophet (sa). I do not see how Jesus, the Messiah(as), is to be preferred to me in any way. As God's word descended upon him, so it has descended upon me, and I do find myself blessed with the same miracles as are attributed to him and even more so. All this honour has been bestowed upon me by following the Prophet(sa) of whose rank and standing the world is unaware, that is, our lord and master Muhammad, the Chosen One(sa).
Can you believe the disgraceful comparisons of this man? That Mr. Mirza was not forsaken, but look at the invidious parallels he draws with Isa (as) on the cross!
He suggests that he (Mirza) is blessed with more miracles!
And the dirty slander that Isa (as) cannot be compared to Mr. Mirza in any way! What, not even in the aspect of prophethood? Let us assume, God forbid, that this evil charlatan was a prophet. Surely, he knows that God has commanded us not to make distinctions between the prophets? And what is this slandering blasphemer doing here, but denigrating Isa (as)? Ghulam-Ahmadis - why not go and tell your Christian friends about this?
Later, this shameful blasphemer goes onto say:
I have been asked why I claim to to be the Promise Messiah. Let me tell you, in all truth, that through perfect obedience to this Prophet(sa), a person can be exalted above Jesus(as). The blind ones call this infidelity. I retort: How do you know what infidelity is when you yourselves are without faith! Infidelity is within you.
So - Mirza believes thaat an ordinary person, not even a prophet, can be raised in rank above Isa (as) through perfect obedience to the Prophet (pbuh).
I find much of this terribly distasteful. I praise God that I left the clutches of this blaspheming lunatic. It actually gives me great pleasure to call him a charlatan and a lunatic, not because I enjoy debasing "revered figures" but because it is cathartic, and serves as a reminder to me that this was not a religion I was part of, but a mind and soul-destroying cult. And I thank God that I am free of this drivel and that the veil has been removed from my heart. Alhamdolilah.
Please - Ghulam-Ahmadis - read and contemplate the blasphemies of your prophet who worshipped "yalesh" and re-consider your position in this life - and the next. Think also of your children.
(ref: Chashma-e-Masihi, Roohani Khazain, vol 20, pp. 353-355)
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Prophets as Warners to the People
- Moses? Locusts, rivers of blood and Pharoah's army drowned, thus saving Moses? Check.
- Noah? Flood killing everyone bar those on the ark with him? Check.
- Lot? Stones from sky killing all bar him and his family - except his wife who stayed behind? Check.
- Salih? Thamud - destroyed in his lifetime? Check!
Mirza Ghulam Ahmad is dead - even if he was a prophet, his forecasts were vague and bogus and he missed key events too whilst busily burying his nose deep in Queen Victoria's ample butt. Such a man, who was more subservient to a tyrannicaly empire than to God, could never have the character to be a prophet of God.
The Lat Prophet (saw) passed way long before Mirza Ghulam Ahmad - and in the interim, many Muslims suffered and died in cataclysmic events.
A key point of the Qur'an is that prophets come as warners to their people - and the cataclysms happened while they were still alive.
Whenever We sent a prophet to a town, We took up its people in suffering and adversity, in order that they might learn humility.
So - where was the suffering in Qadian above and beyond what happened in the rest of India at the time?
According to Mirza, Qadian would be safe - everywhere else would suffer. but like all his lies, this too was a lie.
1) From Qur'an - it is proven that people were punished at the time of a warner for their disbelief. The world was not arbitrarily punished decades later.
2) From Qur'an - it is proven thaat since the town of Qadian did not suffer any adversity significantly greater than the rest of the land - that Mirza was not a prophet.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Don't call Muslims "kafir"
Since I started calling the followers of Mr. Mirza Ghulam-Ahmadis I have found myself immensely disliked. I obviously struck a nerve. Good. Perhaps Ghulam-Ahmadis would like to know why I and other Muslims are justified in using this perfectly respectable and valid epithet to label a group that has for a century been calling Muslims 'non-believers' - or kuffar - to this day.
GA apologists have been screaming like the thief in the market who shouts "THIEF!!!" to create a diversion that Muslims are the ones with the kufr-labelling problem.
So I shall now explain why it is, that we have more right as Muslims to be offended by what Ghulam-Ahmadis call us than they do by the accurate label I use for them.
I will present the logic from a Ghulam-Ahmadi perspective. Ready? It's really very simple:
- Ahmadiyyat is the "True Islam"
- Everything that is not True Islam is NOT Islam! (i.e. it is False Islam - which is meaningless)
- Therefore "Muslims who are not Ahmadis" are part of false Islam and therefore not Muslim
- Therefore Muslims, outside the "true Islam" are kuffar (non-believers)
Get it? Every time a Ghulam-Ahmadi calls me a Non-Ahmadi, or a Ghair-Ahmadi - they are effectively calling me kafir. They do it every single day. Whereas I call them Ghulam-Ahmadi (i.e. followers of Ghulam Ahmad) which is exactly what they are, they are quite happily calling over a billion Muslims on a daily basis - KAFIR.
The truth is, most Ghulam-Ahmadis don't even realise what they imply when they use such abominable and objectionable terms as "Non-Ahmadi Muslim" or "Ghair-Ahmadi-Mussalman" - which are in essence ridiculous oxymorons anyway.
Now who has a more legitimate reason for complaint?
Finally, if you are the "true Islam" and we are by inference, outside that, why not be straight about it and call yourself Muslim and just outright call us non-believers? Ghulam-Ahmadism is a separate religion. Case closed.
Friday, April 07, 2006
Dead Religion of Ghulam-Ahmadism
- In the last 25 years, how many books in any recognised field published by the Ghulam-Ahmadis compared to Muslims?
- In the last 25 years, how many journalists produced by the GAs compared to Muslim journalists?
- In the last 25 years, how many prominent politicians produced by the GAs compared to Muslim politicians?
- In the last 25 years, how many prominent philosophers, authors, scientists, artists, composers, film-makers, anything at all - compared to Muslims?
- In the last 25 years, how many famous religions scholars produced by GAs as opposed to Muslims?
Ghulam-Ahmadism is culturally, scientifically and spiritually dead already.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
"A Very Good Idea"
While the British empire were plundering India, causing millions to die, Mirza was kissing Queen Victoria's plump ass in the most crawling, obsequious, loathsome manner. He was busy raising funds for an army that was killing women and children in the Transvaal concentration camps. He was recording names of Muslims to give over to the incumbent looters. He was writing cupboards of books denouncing Jihad - and yet Allah (swt) is crystal clear about oppression. It is worse than slaughter. The British Empire were guilty of both, but Mirza thought it was fine. No prophet would behave in such an unsightly, treacherous manner. He was the Uncle Tom of the Punjab.
It's a shame he couldn't sum it up like a truly great thinker, who despite non-violently opposing oppression and winning (unlike Mirza, who opposed only opposition to oppression) - never claimed prophethood or anything like it. He lived a simple life. Unlike Mirza, he was not obsessed with signs and money. Unllike Mirza, he did something for India.
And how did Gandhi, this truly great thinker sum up his oppressors? When asked about Western civilisation - he responded thus:
What do I think of Western civilization? I think it would be a very good idea.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Chanda vs. Zakat
One of the issues that crops up is the confusion over Zakat and chanda. Ghulam-Ahmadis claim that chanda is zakat and that it's used for the propagation of Islam. That's nonsense. Some of the chanda is used for the propagation of Ghulam-Ahmadism. Every time there's an issue about Islam in the press, Ghulam-Ahmadis stand opposed to Islam and are quick to distance themselves. So here, let's set the record straight about the issue of Zakat and chanda.
- Zakat is not chanda
- Chanda is not Zakat
- Check your receipts, you will see separate line items for zakat, chanda aam, chanda this, chanda that, tehrike-those, waqfe-thus etc. showing you clearly that Zakat is not chanda
- Zakat can be used for the propagation of Islam, but it is used for many other things too. Chanda is also used to enrich the Mirza clan and their closest buddies
- Zakat is 2.5% of your wealth, chanda is 6.25% flat
- Zakat is compulsory and has a name - it is repeated along with the word "salat" many times in the Noble Qur'an. Chanda is an invention and you will get different answers at different times in different settings from different people on whether it is compulsory or not. Like much else in Ahmadiyya, it is Schrodinger's Chanda. It fixes itself as different values depending on the above factors. Nobody really knows the complete state and vector of a sub-atomic particle. Nobody knows the true stance of Ghulam-Ahmadiyya on just about any issue of note.
- Nobody in Ahmadiyya talks about Zakat. When the finance secretaries go through their call lists, they ask for donations to every scheme and for chanda at risk of expulsion, but they never ask for Zakat.
Nobody argues with using Zakat to propagate Islam. That's fine, but Ghulam-Ahmadi office-bearers in practice put the word of Allah (swt) behind their backs and defend the Mirza clan's chanda to the death. Get a clue.
I hope that's clear enough.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
The question is this: The picture of Mirza Ghulam Ahmad is widely circulated and displayed proudly in the manner of idol-worship in the homes of his followers everywhere - for a man who claimed to be the second advent of the Messenger (pbuh) - who claimed to follow him so perfectly, that only he could lay claim to his mantle, why did he not follow him in this vital principle?
If the prophets must not be depicted pictorially, then why is Mirza Ghulam Ahmad depicted pictorially in home after home after idol-worshipping home?
Monday, January 09, 2006
I have recently started to use the tag "Ghulam-Ahmadis" instead of "Ahmadis". This is not meant to be derogatory, it is meant to be precise. It is also a defence of Islam, in that Ahmad was the name of Rasulullah (saw) and Mirza Ghulam-Ahmad hijacked this name, as did his successors. Mirza Sahib's name was Ghulam Ahmad, which means "Servant of Ahmad". He cannot suddenly remove the Ghulam portion and become the master! That is called hijack.
GhulamAhmadis call themselves Ahmadis and they call Muslims kafirs (non-believers) and followers of a dead and Satanic creed. For this reason, I feel it important to use the correct term "GhulamAhmadism" to indicate followers of Mirza Ghulam Ahmad. Ahmadis are also called Mirzais. This is also an appropriate epithet, but it carries negative connotations for some reason. Perhaps I will get to the bottom of this one day.
Even using the term "Ghulam-Ahmadi" is not 100% accurate, and lends more credence to the cause of Ghulam-Ahmadism, as Ghulam-Ahmadis and their founder certainly don't behave like the Ghulam of Ahmad - and there is only one true Ahmad as described in the Qur'an - the Messenger of Allah, sallalaho alaihe wassalam.
The Day of Arafah
Not a single elder, office-bearer, official, wannabe-khalifa-of-part-of-the-punjabi-nation EVER mention this day to me.
And if they put their hands on their hearts and think for a minute, I'm sure a lot of GhulamAhmadis who are here, either contributing or silent, will not have heard about it before. Sure, many will lambast me and say "sure we knew about it, you were the stupid one for not knowing about it" and many will of course be lying to cover their shame. Some will surely go to google to get their deen about this issue and will not find the top searches listing any site of their creed.
It is a sign of the falsehood of GhulamAhmadism that such an important day, is not generally known about amongst the false creed.
What an important and beautiful day. Muslims know what I'm talking about. Most GhulamAhmadis do not. Google it. See what you're missing. Better still, kick the kult and go to your local mosque - one in which Islam is known about and ask the friendly Imam.
The point I'm making here is not one of education. It is one of ignorance of the traditions of Islam amongst those who follow Mirza Ghulam Ahmad.
Monday, December 05, 2005
I shall cause thy message to reach the corners of the earth
(Braheen-e-Ahmadiyya, volume IV)
All previous messengers were appointed to spread the word of God. Suddenly, Mirza Ghulam Ahmad claims a revelation where apparently, God Himself will spread Mirza Sahib's message!
Monday, September 19, 2005
Masroor the Clueless
The record of Masroor the Clueless
So what has he contributed?
Well, he has expanded the scope of Wassiyat. It's now even easier to join the higher rate tax club that guarantees you paradise. Of course, the descendants of Mirza Sahib, including Masroor Sahib's family, are exempt from this tax.
He has stressed the importance of Ahmadi khilafat and is getting ready for a centenary celebration three years ahead of the event whilst keeping quiet on the real problems of the day.
He has stressed that office-bearers must be respected no matter what.
Has extended the scope of chanda to unbelievably noxious, odious and utterly repugnant levels. Money boxes are being sent to children so that they can contribute to the coffers of jama'at Ahmadiyya and make promises of what they will contribute in this box to Waqfe Jadid. They are urged to return these boxes full. That's right. Get 'em young. This action alone makes me want to puke. I know many Ahmadis who have found this latest step disgusting and are now talking about leaving as a result of this action alone.
But what about his wise words?
In response to the South East Asian tsunami that took the lives of over a quarter of a million people, mostly Muslims:
Absolutely no mention in the first khutbah. From memory, minimal mention in the second.
In response to the repeated outrages committed against civilian Palestinians including mass murder:
In response to the repeated outrages commited against civilian Afghans including arbitrary bombing:
In response to the repeated outrages commited against civilian Iraqis including murder, rape of boys and women in Abu Ghraib and bombing of wedding parties:
In the wake of the 7/7 bombings in London:
Apologetic press release within hours distancing itself from Islam and the bombings, which at this stage had absolutely no connection with Islam and without an independent enquiry, never will.
Ahmadis, this is your leader.
Is this the kind of leadership Muslims should be jealous of?
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
From their website:
It (The Ahmadiyya Movement) strongly rejects violence and terrorism in any form and for any reason.
Two things arise from this statement.
First, when one needs to use violence to defend one's honour, home, property and land, then it is not only permissible, it is mandatory. By making the above unequivocal statement, they are going against the Noble Qur'an. They are by their own declaration, de facto non-Muslims as they reject an aspect of the Noble Qur'an.
And second, if they reject also terrorism in any form and for any reason then why aren't the hypocrites of the cowardly jama'at not standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Islam against the terrorism of the illegal invasion of Iraq, the contemptible treatment of prisoners, male, female and child in Abu Ghraib, the terrorism against Afghanistan, the terrorism against Palestine? Remember, they said in any form. Which must by definition include state-terrorism.
Their two-faced attitude towards Muslims is deplorable and their rhetoric execrable.
Fear & Loathing in Rabwah
This (Ahmadiyyat) is the most dynamic denomination of Islam in modern history.
Note please "of" Islam. And yet they reject Islam as a "dead and satanic religion". So someone explain to me how Ahmadis can be part of something they reject as "dead and satanic". Would they not by association be "dead and satanic" themselves?
Either they are part of Islam, or they are not. If they are part of Islam, i.e. there is a mutual overlap, then they are dead and satanic according to their founder. If they say Islam is dead and satanic, then they need to stop considering themselves part of Islam.
Friday, June 17, 2005
Ahmadiyya's top brass had been fighting apathy, inertia, lack of focus and a worrying exodus of its brightest minds to atheism, or worse still, Islam, for some years. They had convened this special broadcast to establish a new scheme. The Mirza Mascroo Yousuf Aarup Yarassital Bleed Scheme was launched with its own attached chanda fund, code and bank account in a thrilling blaze of, well, ok, in a boring announcement without any glitz or glamour or fun whatsoever.
In a membership that is fast dwindling, it is truly an ingenious idea. For every Ahmadi child conceived that is pledged to Wassiyat Ultra Plus (the new variant of Wassiyat that gets you Platinum privilege - a year's supply of homeopathic medicine, 4 mulakaats a year and an interest-free loan for a flat near the bait-ul-fazool, but where you pay 50% of everything you earn after tax to jama'at) - you get last year's chanda payments back and JFK's mobile number to call once a month on your allotted day. Obviously, if the scheme is successful, you'll probably get his voicemail.
Most Ahmadis are too brainwashed to realise that they didn't pay much chanda last year anyway, but it will still represent an outstanding opportunity for the younger ones who still have some zeal in them.
Insiders see it as a scheme that will save the community from imminent meltdown, but doubters see it as yet another last gasp attempt to salvage something, anything, financially, for the Mirza Family from the wreckage that is The Cult of Ahmadiyya.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
The Masih Fra'ud
]Pure, inside and out
Be kind and merciful to humanity, for all are His creatures: Do not oppress them with your tongue, or hands, or in any other way. Always work for the good of mankind. Never unduly assert yourselves with pride over others, even those who are placed under you. Never use abusive language for anyone, even though he abuses you. Be humble in spirit, kind and gentle, and forgiving, sympathetic towards all and wishing them well, so that you should be accepted. There are many who pretend to be kind, gentle and forgiving, but inside they are wolves; there are many on the outside who look pure, but in their hearts they are serpents. You cannot be accepted in the presence of the Lord unless you are pure, both on the outside and inside.
Hadhrat Masih Mauood, Kashti Nooh
Mirza Sahib used abusive language for his opponents. He called those who didn't accept him "zurrayatul baghaya". This means "progeny of whore". More collquially, today one might say "you son of whore" or "your mother is a prostitute". Ahmadis in a pathetic attempt to justify this garbage, soften up "baghaya" to mean "wicked". Right. Here's a test. Go to an Arab, any Arab, and ask them what "baghaya" means. Look it up on the Internet. Go into a bookshop, find an Arab dictionary, and look it up. Even better still, look at the context in which Mirza Sahib himself used these words, in his own writings, and you'll be clear.
Why should I ever believe in his claim, or even take him to be a decent man, when he has called my mother, and his own wife, a whore?
If I say to you "Bastard", and then in an attempt to appear holier than thou, or perhaps to placate you because I want your money for example, I backtrack "but the way I mean it, it means your metaphorical spiritual lineage is not saintly", will you not just laugh in my face?
Reference: Ahmadiyya Official Site
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Did MGA add any value to Islam?
I realised that nothing in jama'at Ahmadiyya actually added any value to Islam. There was no revival, no reform, not even a visible adherence to the basic tenets of Islam, though I saw many people within the jama'at who were (and most likely still are) devout in their belief and practice of Islam, except for the mistaken belief in Mirza Sahib's prophethood. If those same people did not believe in Mirza Sahib, nothing essentially would change other than a reversion to a truer Islam.
If Ahmadiyyat brought massive reform, it might be worthy of note. Wearing the "alaisala" rings and kalima badges doesn't mark you out to be a "True Muslim". The word "Muslim" does not require the prefix "True". You are either Muslim or you are not. I never saw badges that claimed "Wannabe Muslim" or "Fake Muslim" or even the unadorned, but far preferable "Muslim". The badge of Islam is something to be worn in the heart, mind and soul. The attitude of Islam is to be practiced in one's daily actions.
So what did Ahmadiyyat actually bring that was new? As far as I can tell, there are only two real claims, and I'm not convinced that the first of these is even new.
1) That Jesus (as) died at the age of 120 in Kashmir and that his body is in Yuz Asaf's tomb in Srinagar, Kashmir.
2) That martial jihad has been abrogated.
The first belief was necessary in order to validate MGA's claim to be the reincarnation or embodiment or spiritual successor or second coming or doppelganger (it's all so confusing) of Jesus. It is Ahmadiyyat's favourite argument to establish its truth. But even if it were true that Jesus (as) was dead and buried in Yuz Asaf's tomb:
a) It doesn't make MGA's claims true
b) It doesn't alter a Muslim's core beliefs
c) It is not a requirement from Allah to believe
d) The so-called-second-coming never actually changed anything else. For most of his life, he believed as other Muslims do. And when he went a step or three too far, he still didn't actually reform Islam. If a belief in the death of Jesus at 120 is a fundamental requirement of being Muslim, then RasulAllah SAW would have been told about it and it would be in the Qur'an.
As for the second, well, that has been discussed aplenty. You can't change the Qur'an. According to the ahadith that MGA was reliant upon (and this argument goes round and round without the Ahmadi's ever admitting to using flawed logic) the Messiah is supposed to do a lot more than MGA ever did.
So there you have it. What else has jama'at Ahmadiyya contributed to Islam? They declare the rest of Islam, the religion of RasulAllah SAW and all the prophets before him, to be satanic and cursed. And they declare this quite proudly and brazenly. Why? Because we believe in the status of khataman-nabiyyeen.
In business speak, where is the value-add? Why are all the decent Muslims out there who do everything they're told to in the Qur'an suddenly no longer Muslim?
What new message was brought by Ahmadiyyat in the Jalsas? Apart from how to pay chanda, which scheme was being launched, what funds were needed etc.?
I think the dividing line is very clear. The only essential and important difference between being Muslim and being Ahmadi is that to be Ahmadi, you have to believe in MGA's self-claimed prophet-hood and that martial jihad is over. Is that really it? Is that the supposed revival? The reform? How is that a big deal?
Where is the value-add in Ahmadiyyat? Dear Ahmadis, please tell me how by being Ahmadi, you are better than Muslims.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
The Message - Part 3
In which I saw RasulAllah and Hadhrat Ibrahim
I was in a conference hall with tables in neat rows
The pilgrims there were arguing and some had come to blows
They ran around the tables knocking over chairs and food
Surely, they knew who was coming? Why were they so rude?
Incongruent, they all were dressed in pilgrim's robes of white
Oblivious to who our guests were, such a painful sight!
I knew what this gathering was meant to be about
I knew that I'd rather be in here than be without
I feared our guests would see the fuss and quietly depart
I knew that our guests would see - what we hid in our hearts
Presently, our blessed guests filed in with company
All the pilgrims then sat down - none were known to me
I didn't recognise a single face amongst that crowd
And in the party of our guests, there was no "Masih Ma'oud"
Silence filled the room as Ibrahim began to speak
His voice so full of power - made the pilgrims seem so weak
Candles suddenly appeared in front of every man
Lit to test the best of us - or so that seemd the plan
We were asked to place our hands into the testing flame
All the pilgrims seemed to falter, thinking it a game
None of them could see that this was such a simple test
Even I, who knew what this was for, was like the rest
My soul was overpowered by my weakness in resolve
This was such a simple test! But my will had dissolved
The pilgrims all around me started arguing again
Every single flame went out; and I felt Nabi's pain
I couldn't stand the disappointment on Mustafa's face
I couldn't bear his sheer despair at our long fall from grace
I realised that time was short, that something must be done
I leapt out of my chair and felt this test could still be won
Interrupting Ibrahim's quick exit from the hall
I told him I was ready - that I could take it all
He took a lighter from his robe and lit it for my test
I knew that if I failed this time, my sould could never rest
I stretched my shaking hand out, straining from the threat of pain
I forced myself, I seized the chance to prove myself again
And as my hand touched fire, with a shock my soul awoken
Knowing, upright, in my bed, RasulAllah had spoken
The dignity, nobility of prophets from the past
Never would be matched again! RasulAllah the last!
Mirza never matched the sacrifice of Ibrahim
Yet alone to dare to be Khataman Nabiyyeen
Saturday, April 09, 2005
U.M.A. Inc and Arnold Fiat
At first he had quite a junior post, because his education was mismatched to his position. Tired of hus underachievement, he decided to seek a transfer. Secretly, he harboured a desire to match the founder, widely recognised, even by his enemies to be the most important figure in business history, having founded U.M.A. what seemed like centuries ago.
The founder, Mr. Farseal, was an imposing figure in the historical pantheon. He could never be matched. He set in process all the ideologies and rules of U.M.A. and ensured that through an as yet unknown mechanism, the Mission Statement, could never be altered or modified as long as U.M.A. was in existence. This Mission Statement was effectively U.M.A.'s "Bible", but unlike the Bible, science has subsequently shown Mr. Farseal's Mission Statement to have been unadulterated. Surprisingly, the ethos is as valid today as when he founded U.M.A. So revered was Mr. Farseal, that his sayings and habits were effectively enshrined in a number of books, a canon known by the rather whimsical name of "A Hard Ease". Not as accurate or verifiable as the Mission Statement, but nonetheless, an essential supplemental guide when rules of the U.M.A. required exploration or discussion.
Mr. Farseal's history is well known, and this is not his story. Suffice it to say that there would have been no U.M.A. International without him and the succes of this business, the fastest growing business in the world despite its extraordinary size, is evidence of his influence and paramount importance.
Mr. Graham Arnold, like other employees of U.M.A. revered Mr. Farseal. He studied the Mission Statement, but never quite mastered it, extrapolating meaning where there was none, and ignoring guidelines set in place for its interpretation. His command of "A Hard Ease" was dubious. Although at first he respected this work, eventually, he was shown to have misrepresented some of this work.
Everyone knew the Mission Statement was never to be altered, never to be abrogated, added to or subtracted from. Everyone knew that the best way to interpret it was through the guidelines laid down by Mr. Farseal in "A Hard Ease" in case of any doubt. Everyone knew this, including Mr. Graham Arnold.
Until later in his career, when success started going to his head and his ruthless self-promotion caused him to shortcut the protocols of the company, causing further division and clamour in the ranks.
Mr. Graham Arnold, having promoted himself, extraordinarily, up the position of Head Reformer, then began to claim that parts of the Mission Statement had been written by him. Indeed, he spouted sections of the Mission Statement arbitrarily, crediting authorship to himself. Astonishingly, in a move of breathtaking audacity, he claimed that all portions of the Mission Statement referring to the defence of U.M.A. from predatory takeovers stood discarded by his order.
Needless to say this caused consternation in all divisions of U.M.A. International. In his final, daring self-promotional phase, he claimed to be the living embodiment of Mr. Farseal. He claimed to be his second advent. Many jeered, but some misguided employees, easily misled, or just unhappy with the corporate culture in some of the divisions of U.M.A. (and some rightly so) pledged allegiance to him. Perhaps they thought that by catching the coat-tails of this fast-track self-promoter, they might get some glory for themselves. Some actually believed him.
Mr. Graham Arnold then set up his own division within U.M.A. This was counter to the Mission Statement, and indeed, despite the warnings in the Mission Statement, divisions had been formed. Mr. Graham Arnold wasn't satisfied at forming his own division - "Arnold Fiat" - he also declared the other divisions as outside the scope of U.M.A. unless they pledged to join his fledgeling division. And he did this while continuing to claim to represent the true essence of U.M.A. while declaring the main body of it not part of U.M.A. Of course, he continued to be funded by U.M.A. and considered his "Arnold Fiat" division to be the only division that was valid.
Recently, a committee of all the other diivisions convened to discuss the thorny "Arnold Fiat" issue. By unanimous decision, in complete consensus, after pondering the Mission Statement and "A Hard Ease", they sold off the "Arnold Fiat" division to the highest bidder, declaring it to be no longer part of U.M.A. Of course, no one outside U.M.A. wanted it, so Mr. Graham Arnold instigated a management buy out.
To this day, Mr. Graham Arnold's successors (he has of course retired) have continued to operate their small division independently, by lowering the salaries of all their employees dramatically and offering stock options instead. These will accrue on retirement. A pleasant retirement is only guaranteed however if the employee opts-in to the higher rate stock option scheme at the expense of their salary. This also gives them exclusive membership to the "Heavenly Gym Club", a great perk, but unfortunately, the Heavenly Gym Club is always under construction.
Arnold Fiat has created its own rules, not allowing its staff to mix with U.M.A. staff, not allowing company secrets to ever be viewed by outsiders, not allowing Arnold Fiat employees to visit the leaving-dos of U.M.A. employees etc. Do any of that and you will be fired!
U.M.A. is the top Fortune 100 company. Arnold Fiat, despite its employees contributions, hasn't even listed on Nasdaq yet, despite claiming revenues of 200 million dollars a year.
Reporter: Shahid K. Ahmad
Friday, April 08, 2005
The Message - Part 2
Just because we think the Qur'an Allah's Last Dictation
They say we worship graves of saints and Isa in the sky
They say that Isa's in Yuz Asaf's tomb - oh yeah? Nice try!
These are the very same who hang huge photos n their homes
Idols of this age of Mirza and his future clones
Kissing up to Mirza Masroor Ahmad, can't they see?
That when they kiss his ring and worship him it's blasphemy?
They think they worship Allah without partners or an equal
But they say Allah's Final Messenger has had a sequel
They're the ones who beg their fake-khalifa for forgiveness
Daily writing letters to this owner of a business
Instead of asking Mirza and his family for mercy
Praying to Allah for True Hidayah is more worthy
God alone forgives you and can answer all your prayers
You don't get chucked out of Allah's Islam - because He cares!
In Islam when you break a law, you're punished and it's done
But Ahmadis, they get expelled, unless they're Mirza's son
He got his mum to beg for him in front of a tribunal
And yet the other son could not get Mirza at his funeral
One law for the Ahmadis and one law for Islam
One lot go to Paradise, the other to Jahannum
Is it right to be so black and white about our ending?
Do you think I claim all this? No! Mirza needs defending!
My mother raised me as an Ahmadi - she still believes
She's witnessed her grown son move on, but still she will not leave
Loyal to her "Masih Maoud" who now calls her a "whore"
If he said it to my face I'd knock him to the floor
What kind of fake messiah calls a woman by that name?
What kind of fake messiah would give my mother the "blame"?
What kind of fake messiah writes a thousand numbered curses?
What kind of fake messiah steals the Noble Qur'an's verses?
Ahmadis are brainwashed, yes I was once one of them
They happily quote fake hadith to target younger men
Defenceless Muslim children, captured by their cultish tricks
A tiny speck of truth amongst the lies they'll never fix
If your Mirza was a prophet, let me see his books
Every single one of them in English, don't be crooks
You set your centre up in my homeland so please don't run
English, English, English, ENGLISH! EVERY SINGLE ONE!!
What are you afraid of? Will you make him look a fool?
Ishtiharat, Malfoozat in English - that sounds cool!
RK, every single volume, was the man verbose?
Contrast with a real Scripture - then you'll be morose!
I can't believe that thinking people stand by what he said
He called my mum a whore and his wife too: Are your souls dead?
You will seek to justify the lowest of the low
You cannot mirror Mustafa - and in your hearts you know!
While I grew up, all the time, I was indoctrinated
The nature of a cult is that it keeps you isolated
And who of us can claim the strength to stand up to our past?
To throw off the ideas that in our very souls are cast!
I have tried so very hard to work out what he taught
But I will settle for The Message Mustafa had brought
Ahmadiyya's teachings are confused and that was planned!
I will settle for the Promise that I understand
Allah makes a promise to us in the Noble Text
Nowhere does He tell us about men who might come next
Certainly there is no mention of a Masih Maoud
Certainly we're warned of sects - so let's discard this fraud!
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Ahmadis say that Muslims have a dead, satanic creed
They say we claim that Allah speaks no more, He has no need
They say we are all doomed to hell for spurning Ahmadiyya
They say our faces will be blackened when Qiyamah's near
Muslims say that Ahmadis have left our noble fold
That they have thrown away the teachings and the truth of old
How can one improve Islam when God says it's perfected?
How can 14 centuries of Muslims stand rejected?
I have read the Book that Allah sent for all of time
About His Nabi, Last to be appointed in the line
The greatest man to walk the earth - who taught us Allah's Word
The Message was complete and so what more needs to be heard?
Once upon a time I had belief in Mirza Sahib
I pledged allegiance to his grandsons - I was in their tribe
Every book I read on Islam, filtered by the leader
Misinterpretations later found to fool the reader
We were sheltered from the beauty of the "True" Islam
Mixing with the Muslim world they said, would bring us harm
Hiding our identity, until it was too late
From Muslims who became our friends to change from love to hate
Even as a boy I knew what "Seal of Prophets" meant
But truth is easy to distort inside the Jalsa Tent
And when your leader boldly says his granddad was a prophet
Surrounded by the nodding masses, you think nothing of it
The most important thing in Ahmadiyya was the chanda
"Pay up if you want to save your soul and be a bandha"
"Pay up or you never will become an office bearer"
"Don't talk to us about Zakat - just because it's fairer!"
"Give us sava che percent - even if you're jobless"
"Pay us if you're poor or dying - if not then you're God-less!"
"When you've paid your basic rate, we'll ask you for some more!"
"Tehrik-e-this, tehrik-e-that, come on - you know the score!"
"If you want to go to paradise, then join Wassiyat"
"10% of everything you are - by Mirza's fiat"
"If you miss a paisa in your life - you won't get in"
"Only those who bless us with their cash will be let in"
As an Ahmadi I thought that Muslims were like us
I thought they hadn't seen the light and they had missed the bus
I really thought that they knew naught and we were truly guided
I didn't have a clue that what we knew was so derided
Consider me a simple man, but Muslims can't be bad
Just because they think Mirza was wrong to ban Jihad
Just because you don't like war, it doesn't make it wrong
In the face of persecution - fight - be firm - be strong!
Not every Muslim thinks that Jihad means to kill a kafir
But if your brother is oppressed, then you can't let him suffer
Qital is a law of Allah, for eternity
No one has the right to change it - Mirza - you - or me
Mirza Sahib's writings are so full of contradictions
Mirza Sahib's writings are so full of wrong predictions
Mirza Sahib's writings are replete with filthy curses
He even had the gall to plagiarise the Qur'an's verses!
The Message was perfected in the time of Mustafa
Why water down the most profound of Scripture from Allah?
Why would the God who sent the perfect man, send yet another?
Did He nauzobillah get it wrong first time my brother?
RasulAllah gave women status, dignity, respect
But Mirza chased Mohammedi Begum, he hasn't got her yet
His son did not believe, but Mirza Sahib had no grief
Discarding his first wife just like he threw away hadith
Please be advised that I have contracted certain names for the sake of rhythm. I have contracted Mirza Sahib's name to Mirza and RasulAllah's name to Mustafa. I mean no disrespect, and please infer the full and dignified form of address in each case.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
The Anti-Islamic 'Prophet'
Concerning the marriage-that-never-could-happen to Mohammedi Begum - Mirza Sahib had this to say about his own son Sultan:
From the day of such marriage, I will disown and disinherit Sultan Ahmad, and from the same day, I divorce his mother(MGA's first wife - translator). And if his brother, Fazal Ahmad (MGA's other son - translator) , who is married to the niece of Mirza Ahmad Beg (father of the girl), does not divorce his wife on the same day that he hears of the marriage, he too will be disowned and disinherited. None of them will have any right on me after that. And after such marriage, all relations of being relatives, sharing happiness, and of empathy – will be gone, and there will be no sharing in any good, evil, sorrow happiness, weddings and funerals.
(The full text of the above translation can be found at ahmedi.org )
Now - clearly - Mirza Sahib went on to break ties of kinship.
The following is recorded in Sahih Bukhari - The Book of Al-Adab, chapter 5:
2011. Narrated 'Amr bin Al-'Aas (ra): I heard the Prophet (saw) saying openly not secretly, "The family of Abu so-and-so (i.e. Talib) are not among my 'Auliya (supporters and helpers). No doubt my Wali (Protector etc.) is Allah and the righteous believing people. but they (that family) have kinship (Rahm) with me and I will be good and dutiful to them"
It is established that Mirza Sahib could not be any second advent, because it appears he had not read this hadith, and if he had, he ignored it. Such a shame that he couldn't learn from this beautiful example, such was his rage and passion.
Perhaps he also ignored the following Sahih Hadith from Imam Bukhari's Al-Adab, this time chapter 3:
2009. Narrated Jubair bin Mut'im (ra) that he heard the Prophet (saw) saying "Al-Qati (the person who severs the bond of kinship) will not enter Paradise"
How many such examples of anti-Islamic behaviour by Mirza Sahib remain hidden from the eyes of unsuspecting and innocent Ahmadis, caught in a web of jama'at deceit and self-justification?
Monday, March 14, 2005
Why would Allah SWT say this? 
You are to Me like My Unity and my Uniqueness. The time is approaching when you will be helped and will be known among people. You are to Me like My Throne. You are to Me like My son. You have a standing with Me of which the people have no knowledge. We are your guardian in this world and in the hereafter. When you are angry, I am angry; and when you love, I love.
Haqeeqatul Wahi pp. 70-108
Recall what Allah has said in one of the most inspiring and majestic chapters of the Noble Qur'an:
Say: He is Allah, the One and Only;
Allah, the Eternal, Absolute;
He begetteth not, nor is He begotten;
And there is none like unto Him.
The Noble Qur'an, Sura Al-Ikhlas
Mirza Sahib claims that Allah SWT said to him "You are to Me like My son". Would the Allah SWT who said in the Noble Qur'an "He begetteth not" really say such a thing? Would Allah SWT use such a metaphor when He has been so categoric in denying any progeny? Allah SWT, in the Final Revelation, revealed to the Final Prophet SAW, rebuked the Christians for daring to suggest such a thing. Why would the same Allah SWT contradict Himself?
Why would Allah SWT say this? 
The earth and heaven are with you as they are with Me. Your secret is My secret. You are to Me as My Unity and Uniqueness.
Arba'een, No 2, pp 9-21)
Doesn't the above make you feel uncomfortable? Would Allah SWT say such a thing? It is the last sentence that bothers me the most.
Recall, Allah SWT says in Sura Al-Ikhlas:
Say: He is Allah, the One and Only;
Allah, the Eternal, Absolute;
He begetteth not, nor is He begotten;
And there is none like unto Him.
The Noble Qur'an, Sura Al-Ikhlas
Again, note carefully the last line.
Why would the Allah SWT who so majestically said "And there is none like unto him" also say to Mirza Sahib "You are to Me as My Unity and Uniqueness"?
Why would Allah SWT say this?
I have received the revelation: "God has determined to foster thy name and to make it shine in the universe. Many thrones have descended from heaven, but thy throne has been set up the highest of all. The angels help thee at the time of meeting thy enemies."
( Letter addressed to Seth Abdur Rahman of Madras, Maktoobat Ahmadiyya Vol. V part I p.30 )
According to Ahmadis - Is the throne of Mirza Sahib higher than the throne of RasulAllah SAW?
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Dear Ahmadi Debaters
( The Noble Quran, Yunus, 10:17 )
Ascribing false things to me(SAW) is not like ascribing false things to anyone else. Whosoever tells a lie against me intentionally then surely let him occupy his seat in Hell-Fire.
( Hadith Sahih Bukhari, Volume 2, Book 23, Number 378 )
You know very well that jama'at Ahmadiyya, from the time of Mirza Sahib, has the following habits:
- Innovative interpolation of Qur'anic translation text
- Innovative interpretation/tafseer
- Reliance on weak ahadith over sahih ahadith
- Even in the case of weak hadith, misquoting and misrepresenting the words
- Misrepresenting many Muslim scholars
- Quoting and misquoting Qur'an and ahadith out of context, without reference, in an attempt to fool, misguide and befuddle the audience
If Jama'at Ahmadiyya was true, would it need to rely on any of the above schemes?
Why should anyone in their right minds believe a word you say?
Friday, February 25, 2005
Where's the catch?
So to help those who are struggling with it, I have something that will make you feel better - a confession!
I was duped! I was conned! I fell for it! I believed it! And you know what? I was wrong! I picked myself up, I dusted myself off and set off in the right direction.
Let's say you are in a desert. You are being led by a conman. Of course, you don't know you are being led by a conman. You follow. And you follow. And you follow. The oasis does not come. Others die. You are still struggling, bolstered only by outrageous claims and belief. All around you are other lines of people walking in different directions. They seem ok. Some people from your line from time to time leave and join another line of oasis-hunters. You wonder what happens to them. Your leader, the conman, says "They are misguided! They will surely perish!". You're not so sure. But it's easier to stay with the belief you have.
I left the line. My guide is the Qur'an, the Final Book of Allah SWT - and the Sunnah of the Final Prophet SAW. Am I a great Muslim? No. I try my best. That's for Allah SWT to judge. I know one thing though. I'm in the right line and I'm glad I left. Because from where I'm standing, I can see that conman taking his line round and round in ever-decreasing circles to their doom. All I had to do was admit that I was wrong.
There is no catch.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Dear Mirza Masroor Sahib
I'm really getting tired of constant, patient debating, with no real answers, just the incessant twisting and turning, ducking and diving, running and hiding. I've tried to ask your followers questions in the wonderful ahmedi.org forum, but when confronted with the real issues, they run away! Why?
Just answer the questions head-on!! Please! The real questions! The real issues! But no - with you and some of your well-meaning, but haplessly misguided followers, it's always a case of picking up the little bones like the esoteric ilham about some August date in 1908 - I mean who cares? What about the real stuff?
- Why did MGA back the Boer War? No prophet would have backed the death of tens of thousands of children in concentration camps. Just answer this please. None of the others really matter, but this is a biggie.
- MGA had a "revelation" that he'd die in Mecca or Medina. He died in Lahore. And you insult me by trying to tell me that Lahore means Mecca or Medina. Come on! Enough of this nonsense!
- MGA had a "revelation" that he'd marry a widow. "Note it". I did. "Wait for it". I did. It still hasn't happened. Oh - and there's no such thing as a heavenly nikkah. Remember the stuff about "prophecies" and "touchstones" and "liars" and "impostors"?? Note it. Wait for it...
- You've ordered your followers to disengage from the Internet. (Apologies to those Lahoris who have split their sect into another sect who don't follow the "khalifa"). Yet they persist in engagement, even though you are "appointed by Allah" and are his "vicegerent on earth". And when you are asked about it, you don't answer. Is it that difficult?
- MGA had a revelation that Allah SWT "praises him" (MGA). What? Come on. You have tried to defend this. And I'm afraid you've fallen short. By about half a dozen parsecs. Allah SWT alone is worthy of praise!
- MGA prescribed tonic wine for illness, and for all I know, took it himself. RasulAllah SAW said "it is not a medicine, it is a sickness". "Second advent"? Of whom exactly?
- MGA plagiarised his theory of Isa's (AS) death to faciliate his own incremental claims to Messiahship and eventually, full-blown-second-advent-of-Muhammad (SAW)-hood. Or did he even go on to claim godhead? Oh yeah, he did. Do you believe any of this?
- Allah SWT warned us not to split our religion into sects. What is Ahmadiyyat? And Haqiqat Pasand? And Janfah? And Lahoris? And so on and on and on? You're having a laugh, right?
- Allah perfected our deen in the lifetime of RasulAllah SAW. Do we really need a self-appointed-prophet after the seal is closed to tell us about The Book that we already know about?
- Tell us about the eclipses. Again. Go on. Just for fun. Let's clear this up, it really is quite simple! The hadith is weak. The weak hadith isn't even attributed to RasulAllah SAW. That weak hadith talked of an event that hasn't happened since the beginning of time. Double eclipses have been happening in Ramadan every 22 years since the beginning of our planetary system. There have been claimants in that time. So go on, tell me about this pathetic scam again? Please?
- MGA called everyone who didn't follow him "kaafir". You want to be called Muslim, yet reserve the right to call everyone else non-Muslim. Erm, please explain this to me, so that I can understand. And try and do a better job than Mirza Nasir Sahib did in 1974. Please?
- Remind us, who won the debate in 1974?
- Explain to me how Bahishti Maqbara is anything other than a higher rate tax bracket in jama'at that fraudulently offers heaven without Allah SWT's intervention?
While you're at it, please tell me about chanda. And why it's given more importance than zakah? And tell me about jalsa, and why it's given more importance than hajj? And tell me why your office bearers talk about chanda more than they do about salah, the only fundamentally important aspect of Islam? And while you're evading all the important questions by taking potshots at RasulAllah SAW or the Holy Qur'an, please explain why trying to discuss things with you is like trying to nail jelly to a wall.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Where's Your Added Value, Sir?
What was Mirza Sahib's contribution to:
Monday, February 14, 2005
I'm working on three long articles at the moment, and these will take some precedence over this blog.
- A Fracture in Belief
- Letter to a Friend 2
- The Only Advent
The first is my document on why I left jama'at Ahmadiyya, what my journey was like, what the conditions were, overall, it is the description of a joureny.
The second is a follow-up to the open letter I wrote to Mirza Sahib and his followers. It doesn't address any of those points, rather, it is a discussion on the document "Ek Ghalati Ka Izala" (The Removal of a Misunderstanding) by Mirza Sahib.
Finally, I am writing a document that compares RasulAllah SAW with Mirza Sahib in order to show people unequivocally, that there can be no second advent of RasulAllah SAW - and for the sake of argument - even if such a thing were sanctioned by Islam, that person could never have been Mirza Ghulam Ahmad Qadiani.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Rules and Tribulations
Ahmadis - you are aware that your Khalifa has forbidden you from engaging in discussion on the Internet. Yet you still do it.
If you disobey your Khalifa, you are breaking the conditions of your bai'at. Which technically, means that you are no longer an Ahmadi. However, the punishment for breaking the conditions of bai'at is not clear. No one actually knows what happens. If you reject an order of a so-called-Khalifa though, you are clearly breaking the order of (in your faith) your God too, since this is a firm aspect of your faith. Therefore, if discovered, you are liable to a sentence of expulsion or excommunication - a kind of limbo - a purgatory-maqbarah if you like.
The punishment for wrongdoing in jama'at is meted out randomly. You can get away with an awful lot in jama'at, and through its cult-like control, reporting "crime" is not easy. Being heard is next to impossible, if you're a victim. And if you're an office-bearer, and often, even when you're not, you can do pretty much anything you want. Rape? No problem. Victims are usually girls and they are too scared to tell anyone. If they do, their khalifa-idolising parents will not believe them - and even if they do, they will hush things up, for the sake of honour. It happens all the time.
Fraud? Come on buddy! Fraud is a de rigeur requirement of being an Ahmadi. Passport fraud. People smuggling. Insurance jobs. It's on the CV of more Ahmadis than you can shake the Musleh Ma'oud''s walking stick at. It all gets covered up. Brushed under the red carpet that your khalifa walks on.
Before this post turns into an expose, let me just turn it into some questions:
Where is your rule-book? Since you have accepted conditions in your pledge of allegiance over and above those required by Islam in order to be an Ahmadi -an innovation not mandated by Islam - you should have stricter rules too, right?
By engaging in discussion on the Internet with those who don't hold your beliefs - and thus denying yourself one of the best avenues possible for promulgation of your separate creed - you disobey the khalifa. What's the punishment? And is that punishment over and above what Allah SWT proscribes in the Holy Qur'an? Remember, you break your pledge by disobeying your ruler. What does that say about your thinking, your leadership and your rules?
And if you know of people who are supposed to be the "best of Muslims" who are behaving contrary to that, and getting away with it, do you just say that "they're accountable to Allah" and leave it at that? While innocent Ahmadis suffer the purgatory-maqbara for attending Muslim weddings? What kind of justice is that?
All sorts of holes in this man-made system. if your creed is sound, what's wrong with declaring it openly and debating on the Internet? I'll tell you what's wrong. Your leadership doesn't control the Internet. Without control of its membership, a cult is nothing. It falls apart. What harm can come from debate? If your faith is strong, it will withstand attack. If it is true, it will withstand scrutiny. If it is from Allah, it will envelop the world.
I have a question for you. If the Messiah has truly come, after a century of his claim, why have so few people heard his name? Why are his writings not more publicly available? Would they withstand attack and scrutiny? You complain about a few "hate" sites. Wake up. This is not about hate. It's about truth. I'll admit that hate exists. It's part of the human condition, but the fact is, hate would only make you stronger, and the word of the Messiah more visible. That has not happened. It will not happen. Because the Messiah has not come!
What is the fastest growing religion in the world today? Despite all the scrutiny and attacks? It is the religion the revelation of which began with Hadhrat Adam AS, and ended with RasulAllah Sallaho Allaihi Wassalam.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
The Power of an Idea
The strength comes from Allah. You might well be cleverer than me. That cleverness might make it easier for you to fend off individual points, and to win some moral victory in your own mind at some given point, but the truth will gnaw away at you. People die for the sake of an idea. You have to ask yourself - am I going to die for the right idea?
Religions are ten a penny. Choose one. If you're in a free and democratic country, no one will stop you. Feel free! It's just an idea, you can change it tomorrow if you don't like it! But if you believe in Allah, then be careful. You never know when your life will be taken back by Allah. Make sure that you have studied your belief - that your belief holds up to scrutiny.
When there is a simpler, more logical explanation for an idea; one that is not contrived, and one that does not require twisted logic to support it, then it's probably better. That's not to say that the correct idea is necessarily rational. Hey, if you want to go down that road, what business have you in believing that you will be bodily resurrected? What business have you believing in angels? In miracles? Religion is not entirely rational. Rationality is not all there is. It's a tool. It should help you to arrive at conclusions that sometimes require a degree of faith. Don't use that same rationality to blind you into believing strange stories that are difficult to understand.
Was the Holy Prophet Muhammad SAW the Last in the Line of Prophets or not? Look at the evidence. The arguments used to support the corollary are circuitous and contrived. Why go with that answer? We are warned against that in the Holy Qur'an! Is the "seal" in the "Seal of Prophets" a seal that signifies the sealing of a container? Or the seal that signifies the last in the line? Or is it the seal that stamps out more of the like? Well, look at the Hadith for your answer. It gets no simpler than "There is no prophet after me". Which part of the word "no" do you not understand? RasulAllah SAW didn't say "there is a prophet after me". So why are you arguing to the contrary? Why look at the weaker hadith, or the possibly fabricated hadith, in favour of the stronger hadith? Look, you're reading this right? So you don't have to tell anyone. This is between you and your Maker.
You talk about Hadhrat Isa AS. That's just another "but" so that you can hold onto your belief. Don't make excuses as they won't avail you when you're standing in front of Allah, trying to explain to him why you ignored the deen finalised on earth by His Final Prophet. You know very well that Hadhrat Isa AS was not the last in the line. If he comes back, he will not be a new prophet! Don't you get that? The only reason he doesn't violate the Seal of Prophethood is because he came before the Seal! Whereas Mirza Ghulam Ahmad came after the Seal! Mirza Sahib claimed prophethood and messengerhood as a new person. He was not Hadhrat Isa AS. Was he? Hmmm? Please don't fool yourself with all this "incarnation" stuff. It's a non-sequitur and in your heart, your Muslim, not Hindu heart, you know it.
You laugh at Muslims asking "where is Hadhrat Isa - is he in the sky? Is he floating? Is he eating a special diet?". Don't you feel uncomfortable mocking Allah's greatness in this way? Hasn't Allah told you that you will be raised again? "What, when we are dust?" Do you see where this argument goes? You might as well mock the angels! God forbid! God is great. He can do as He pleases. Your job is to believe in Him and His Final Prophet.
If the religion of Islam was perfected in the Holy Qur'an, 1400 years ago, why would we need some new prophet to come again, with a bunch of excuses, to reveal Islam again? Do we not have eyes to see? The first thing Hadhrat Jibreel asked RasulAllah SAW to do was "read!". Can you not do the same?
You accuse Muslims of behaving like the Jews. What, are you for real? Allah made a binding covenant with no qualifications in the Holy Qur'an. Read the first few verses of Sura Al-Baqara and tell me where you see any so-called Promised Messiah. The other scriptures warn us of prophets to come. The holy Qur'an does not. Will you not read and see for yourself?
Religion is not a sport. Muslims do not debate with Ahmadis for sport, to deride them (though it might seem that way sometimes!). There is only one "true Islam". And that is the Islam of the Holy Prophet Muhammad SAW. I know a lot of Ahmadis don't read the Ahadith in detail. You should brothers and sisters. It's half of what Muslims believe. Read the authentic, the muttawatir ahadith about the finality of prophethood. Read again and look for the same on Hadhrat Isa AS. You will be disturbed if you make a concerted effort to open your heart.
Study the life of the Holy Prophet Muhammad SAW. Then, armed with knowledge of Islam, and only then, read the books of Mirza Sahib if you can read Urdu, and get people to translate the "trickier" references if you cannot. Then tell me if the man you call "Promised Messiah" can be a prophet, or the" second advent of Muhammad" as well as the "second coming of Jesus" and the incarnation of Krishna.
Study Islam first, not the Islam filtered through the coloured lens of jama'at Ahmadiyya, but all if it - even though you already believe you are in the true Islam; study Islam to the best of your ability, then study Mirza Sahib. And if you are truthful to yourself, and you don't drop the jama'at habit, I'll give you your money back. Guaranteed.
May Allah guide you to the straight path of Islam, grant you health, happiness and strength in your deen. Ameen.
Monday, January 31, 2005
Mirza Masroor Annoucement!
(Jan 30, 2005 Advertisement, Mamooli Ishtiharat vol.1, p.1)
That's right folks. The Iraqis must be overthrown and subdued. Since they didn't pledge allegiance to Ahmadiyya and God's Khalifa, they aren't really Muslims. So it's right that we should utterly raze their country to the ground. As long as there are so few Ahmadis there, and it is difficult for us to be accepted there (because of that thorny issue of them knowing Arabic and thus understanding that old "Khatamanabiyeen" chestnut that we use on the unsuspecting) - it's an accursed land. It is one of the prophecies of the Promised Messiah, my great-grandfather, that, erm, the sun will rise somewhere, someday, and it has done, millions of times, and that's milions of miracles now, and..er...anyway...
Don't send money to your central Mosque, send it to me directly, make it payable to me, and I'll see that a part of it gets to the government. The rest I shall keep for "administration" purposes. Since jama'at doesn't file its returns until years after they're due anyway, it shouldn't be a problem for this money to "disappear" by then anyway. And what I mean by that of course, is that it will go to some mosque project that will get forgotten about, or perhaps to an auxiliary section of MTA. Or something. We'll work it out.
And if the office-bearers, the ones who hold their positions for a lifetime, should berate you, humiliate you, rob you, rape you, all of the above or worse, I still want you to smile as you hand over the cash that Islam actually doesn't ask you for. I know God says in the Qur'an that you should spend in the way of Allah, but since He has appointed me as his vicegerent, you can spend in the way of me and take it up with Allah in the next life.
Saturday, January 29, 2005
At a recent jalsa, a young unmarried couple were caught fornicating in a tent while friends of the boy watched and encouraged the couple. There are perverts defiling the honour and integrity of young girls and boys everywhere. The khalifa is robbing you blind and you are happily emptying your pockets and selling your children into his grateful lap. This is your saved sect?
Ahmadis, wake up and smell the coffee, before it's too late. Keep your chanda in your pockets. Give Zakat instead. Stop going to Jalsa. And the money you save in Chanda, use it to help you do Hajj, with nothing but "Muslim" in your hearts and passports. Pray regularly, and offer durood to the Holy Prophet Muhammad SAW, and forget about Mirza Ghulam Ahmad Qadiani. There is nothing wrong with the Islam of the Holy Prophet Muhammad SAW. He was the greatest explainer of Islam, not any of the Mirza family.
Read the Holy Qur'an. Look for where Allah has asked you to believe in a "Promised Messiah" lest you lose your soul. I promise you, not a single referene exists.
Follow the Holy Prophet Muhammad SAW and reject innovation and overly-contrived explanations, which Allah has expressly forbidden in the Holy Qur'an. "They follow nothing but conjecture".
I will pray for all of us after posting this. I urge you Ahmadis, look deep, deep into your hearts with honesty. I am not seeking anything from you. Muslims seek nothing from you. It is Allah only to whom you should turn, not Mirza Masroor Sahib.
Embrace Islam and reject everything else.
‘This day have I perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion.’
(Holy Qur’an, 5:3)
Islam was perfected in the lifetime of the Holy Prophet Muhammad SAW. It needed no re-interpretation. And you need nothing more.
Wassalam and may Allah shower you all with His Infinite Mercy. Ameen
Friday, January 28, 2005
I was once in your shoes. Deep in the bosom of jama'at Ahmadiyya. I would never have left had I not had the time and the will and the guidance from Allah.
I am irreverent towards your leadership. I was once one of you, so I know it stings. I wouldn't have liked it either. Please remember, I have love for you, because I know most of you believe in Islam and if you really knew about the foundation of jama'at Ahmadiyya, if you really had a choice, you would choose Islam.
It is frightening to even think of leaving. The possible boycott, the shame, the humiliation, and possibly the fear that you are taking the wrong step. Ask Allah SWT to help you! Allah SWT helps his servants if they truly desire and seek His pleasure!
If I did not have the time, the will and the hidayah, I might never have left. Time is short. Look into your belief. Your life is not a trial run. Your deen is too important an issue to have it decided on your behalf by default! Seek the truth. Pray for guidance.
If you're proud of your belief, go and debate it openly with knowledgeable Muslims! Ask your leadership to engage in open and honest debate with the Ulema! What is there to fear if you are right? And if you are wrong, then you will know, and you can do something about it. Visit the various forums. If you are open, you will recognise the Truth when you see it. There are false claims on both sides, false arguments on both sides, but, and this is important, only one side is on the right path!
Ask the difficult questions and seek the Truth, from wherever it comes. Do you know of the writings of the founder of your jama'at? Don't you owe it to yourself to learn everything you can, and to determine why it is that all the Muslims find the idea of there being a prophet after the Holy Prophet Muhammad SAW so blasphemous? Drop the emotion and look humbly into the core of the arguments. I urge you not to be perfunctory when you are examining the issues!
It is hard to leave, easy to stay. This life is short though, and the next life is eternal. Who knows if tomorrow will come for you or I? Only Allah SWT knows. Put your faith in Allah SWT alone, not your leadership. Don't accept mediators between your soul and Allah SWT. Go straight to the source. Listen to all the sides.
Islam is beautiful. It was completed in the lifetime of the Holy Prophet Muhammad SAW. Embrace that Islam, and accept no substitute. Your soul is at stake. And may Allah SWT guide you and protect you from evil. Ameen.
Open Letter to a Friend
20th January 2005
Dear Mirza Ghulam Ahmad Sahib,
I am writing to you in English as my Urdu is not that great. However, since you received revelations in English (let’s overlook the poor grammar, shall we?) and since no doubt you are with your esteemed friends, including Maulvi Muhammad Ali, whose grasp of English I understand was very good, getting a translation shouldn’t be a problem.
I appreciate that you are no longer alive, but since you measure the success of the mission of the Promised Messiah in terms of the lifetime of the movement, I thought the matter of your being on this realm or not was hair-splitting. Incidentally, I looked for the Promised Messiah in the Holy Qur’an, but couldn’t find him. I couldn’t find Hadhrat Imam Mahdi there either. Oh, I found Hadhrat Isa, but let’s face it, you’re not the same person. As for Krishna, I found no reference to him in our Noble Qur’an either. So please excuse me if in my confusion over your identity, I simply refer to you as respected Mirza Sahib.
This is an open letter, and I’m sure that those who are still loyal to your jama’at and who will remember me as being loyal to your jama’at before November 2004 will find the way I have addressed you to be a little disrespectful, not calling you Hazoor and all that, a term that I feel is more appropriate for the Holy Prophet Muhammad SAW by the way. I know you said that “those who distinguish between me and Mustafa, have neither seen me, nor recognised me”, but I’m sorry, although I’ve only seen your picture - you definitely aren’t the Holy Prophet Muhammad SAW. I know you’re from India, but aren’t you taking this Hindu concept of reincarnation a little too far?
In case this stings you slightly, I should point out that the Holy Prophet Muhammad SAW, whom you followed in perfection to the point of being a second and improved advent of him was never averse to questions. Or was it Hadhrat Isa you claimed to be a second advent of? Or Krishna? Or was it all the prophets? I apologise for my confusion!
Since you have also abrogated the Qur’anic injuction of Jihad of the sword (Qital) for all time, I thought you would be open to a Jihad of the pen and thus my open letter. Don’t worry if you can’t reply yourself, I’d be happy to hear from one of your progeny, I mean, successors, seeing as they get revelations too. Maybe you could inspire them to reply?
Please excuse my frankness. As I say, I mean you no disrespect, this is merely my style. If you find me provocative, then I mean to provoke thought, not anger, you should consider me a friend! I really wouldn’t want you to write me a letter with a thousand numbered invocations of laanat. Since you have done this before, I wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of you and receive perhaps 10,000 laanats or more, all diligently numbered.
Hey! That gives me an idea! If you had followed this example to its logical conclusion, then perhaps you could have delivered on your original promise of 50 volumes of the Braheen-i-Ahmadiyya after all, instead of reneging on your deal with Muslims and delivering only 5 volumes! I can understand why you had been criticising and abusing the poor suckers who had been waiting 20 years who foolishly asked for their money back. After all, didn’t they see the funny side of you deleting only a single dot from the promised figure? These Muslims! No sense of humour!
If you had followed my suggestion, perhaps you could have filled the 45 missing volumes with laanats for all of your enemies! Or for all future enemies! For all of Islam in fact, because over a billion Muslims still don’t believe in you and therefore, as you say, are not really Muslims anyway. So that’s OK then. Anyway, I digress - that way, you could have avoided all those unfair accusations that you were not setting a good example in terms of sticking to promises; or just as bad, that you had gone back on a business deal and that the customers of the transaction were indignant about only getting a tenth of what they paid for.
Never mind, we could always get one of your divinely-ordained progeny, I mean of course, an independent Khalifa who is not necessarily a direct descendant of your family and heir to your money (silly me, I meant the money you took from those suckers that believed you, just because you were as charismatic and brilliant at debate as any modern cult leader – I’d love to see who’d win a mubahila between you and L. Ron Hubbard) to write the missing volumes and claim that they were there all along, but that “stupid Muslims” hadn’t seen them or asked about them. It would be so easy, I mean, as you know, nowadays we have the word processor and we have cut and paste! Damn! If you had had these things in your day, you might have been able to do it yourself! Just hit Ctrl-V for half a day (you could do it between Fajr and Asr, since you had time because you were in the habit of doing Zohr and Asr together, great time-saver! How else were you going to break the cross, eh?) and you would have been able to stick to your promise!
Oh the bit about your family, I meant Hakim Noor-u-din notwithstanding; let’s face it, Ahmadiyyat was more his idea than yours anyway. I don’t think you denied that. You were just the front-man. The charismatic leader who could contradict himself a thousand times, but like Tony Blair, never get chucked out of your God-appointed office. You were untouchable. Whoops, didn’t quite mean it like that, you know what I mean!
Oh there’s a bit of confusion for me right there. You said your office was appointed by the “stamp”-like seal of the Holy Prophet SAW. I was under the impression that only Allah had the power to appoint prophets. My bad. Sorry for the misapprehension.
You handing over power to your brother-in-arms (oh, we can’t have that, you abrogated arms, whilst confiscating alms) … your brother-in-no-arms after your death probably inspired Prime Minister Tony Blair. Looks like he won’t hand over power to Gordon Brown until after his own demise either. And like Noor-u-din, Brown was always the real brains and Power behind the Throne. Of course – your throne is the greatest of all sent down according to what your God told you. Do you remember? I think you’re so impressive - that people still believed you after you made such obviously over-the-top claims about your own grandiosity and enormity.
Remember, you were promising 300 proofs of the superiority of Islam? I had an idea! Although you delivered only one proof in the end, you could have argued that since Allah is One, to have delivered 300 proofs might have implied a compromise in His Unity (God forbid). In fact, you could have just deleted the nukhtas and said “Since the difference between 300 and 3 is only two nukhtas, my promise has been fulfilled to those of understanding”. But wait! That still leaves you with two proofs too many! I know, you could have added “Allah revealed to me that three proofs is abrogated for all time, and He said He doesn’t want anything to do with the number “3” as it represents the Trinity and the ideology of the cross. And I have to get on with destroying that. My job role as Promised Messiah is too important an issue to set aside just to be fair and reasonable! So since I am here to show that there is no ‘3’, and there is only ‘1’, I have kept my promise”. Oh and of course, I almost forgot. Your job role as the Promised Messiah also obviated your requirement to do Hajj. People should understand that breaking the cross, which of course you did, oh wait, no, Christianity increased both during your office term and after it; let’s think about that one for a bit. Anyway, we’ll work out a good excuse as to why “the second advent of the Holy Prophet Muhammad SAW” didn’t do Hajj.
Those “idiot Muslims” who were expecting you to stick to the letter of your word should have known that Allah Himself told you directly that you are to Him as His Unity and Uniqueness. Not even the Holy Prophet SAW could have claimed such a revelation! Isn’t your jama’at lucky to have you? Then again, you have claimed to be a more perfect advent of RasulAllah SAW and people really shouldn’t be expecting you to be so earthly as to condescend to honour a public transaction. That would mean you offered nothing new in Islam! No Shariah, no deal. It doesn’t matter that there is no concept of a Shariah-free-prophethood mentioned in the Holy Qur’an, since you are the best person to interpret it until Judgement Day.
Let’s face it, one of your greatest achievements was the new and interesting way you interpreted the Holy Qur’an! What were all those Arabs thinking of that they didn’t even understand their own language that it took a man of Mongolian, I mean, sorry, Persian descent to tell them what the Holy Qur’an really meant? You came to reform, to guide, to innovate all those great thinkers. Even Imam Bukhari got it wrong with his Sahih Bukhari, don’t you think? All that stuff about the Holy Prophet SAW being the last in the line of prophets! What a daft idea! It was something that no native Arab speaker for 1400 years got the hang of!
Anyway, what’s wrong with a fresh idea? What would be the point in another prophet like you if he was not going to be innovating in religion, even though Allah Himself has expressly forbidden it? Like your God said to you, if it wasn’t for you, He wouldn’t have created the heavens! I guess He created the Qur’an for you too, right? I mean, He did reveal it to you again. Maybe you think He got it wrong the first time? Maybe you think you understood it better than the Holy Prophet Muhammad SAW and his Sahaba? Oh wait. You have Sahaba too, right? This is all getting a bit confusing.
Respected Mirza Sahib, I don’t mean to poke fun. You see, I’m of the Internet generation. We ask questions. We want to learn. We don’t just take things at face value. That might make us a little impertinent, but we don’t want to be taken for a ride. I’m sure you wouldn’t want innocent people taken for a ride. Would you?
Well, I’m sure you’re busy getting ready for your heavenly nikkah with Muhammadi Begum, that is assuming her legitimate and rightful husband doesn’t object, but who is he to stand in the way of such a great prophet, right? I know you can’t write back, but I know you’ll find a way of reading this. Perhaps you can ask Allah to inspire one of your descendants to respond? I’d love to know what you think of my ideas.
Shahid Kamal Ahmad